Self Known: June 2013

Magic

I can hold it.

I can feel it.

It's there.

In the air.

But what is it?

smile at the simplicity || it can be whatever you want it to be

thanks for reading this simple post. <3

xoxo,

Rose

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A new weekly feature [maybe].

Enjoy.

Sad Moments:
--when it rains right during your visit to the waterpark
--when words that you didn't mean to say, slip from your mouth
--realizing you never got to tell him what you thought [and you'll never be able to see him again]
--when you can't lift your leg above your head...anymore
--when you are not in NY [ apparently that's the place to be -_- ]

***

Happy Moments:
--when after the rain stops the waterpark is empty and you have it all to yourself
--when this special person in your life makes you smile
--getting 2,147 words typed out in one day [for a writing project]
--when you're singing and twirling around the room, not caring who sees
--getting a new bathing suit

thank you, for reading. <3

xoxo,

Rose

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New beginnings, old friends. [part 2]

[ click here to read part one ]

I look up him, his beautiful dark brown eyes meeting mine. I'm at a loss for words. Even the pen that weighed heavily behind my ear has become light, all of its own words forgotten. A blush rushes across our cheeks, and we simultaneously look down at our food. My forgotten notebook slips from under my arm and spills onto the floor, breaking the moment. We both reach for it, but I stop when I see the page it fell open on.

New beginnings,

old friends,

I didn't want to leave you,

but I did.

He kneels down, retrieving the notebook. I watch his eyes scan the words for a brief second, before he snaps the it shut.

"Sorry, um..." He holds it out for me to take. And I do. "Those are some beautiful words, by the way."

"Thank you..." I run my fingers across the worn cover of the book, trying to find the right words to tell him how those words came to be. He nods and stands up to sit back down in his seat. "They were meant for you."

He freezes in place, then slowly turns toward me. I offer him a small smile, waiting for a reaction. But he blinks back at me. So I continue.

"I didn't want to leave. That was the last thing on my mind. But opportunity came and I...couldn't pass it up."

He nods, cautiously stepping toward me.

"You don't know how hard it was for me," My voice drops to a whispers. "to let you go."

"And you don't know how hard it was for me, to watch you go."

~ ~ ~

thanks for reading. <3

xoxo,

Rose

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p.s. happy half birthday to me! XD

Breathe.

[ photo via pinterest ]

Breathing.
I'll focus on that.

In...

Out...

My lungs seem to enjoy the air.
Taking it in before exhaling it out.

In...

Out...

I like breathing.
Breathing is good.

In...

...out.

Why are my hand shaking?
Why is my face...leaking?

In...

In...

In...

Breathing isn't the thing I can focus on anymore.
I need to focus on something else.

In...

Out--in...

Out...

Somehow, I do manage to breathe.

dramatic, much? || in...out...in...out...

thanks for reading. <3

xx Nicole Rose

"Just let the notes come to you, as the words follow."

[ photo via pinterest ]

Strumming.
Writing.
Humming.
Singing.

My fingers pluck and pick the notes.
My lungs exhales the words.
My foot taps to the beat.
My smile turns into a frown.

"Don't stop."
I look up.
He's here.
Why?

"But it doesn't sound right."
My voice sounds hoarse.
He always does this to me.
How?

"It sounded right to me."
He sits beside me.
Our eyes meet.
Whoa...

"Just sing from your heart."
He closes the notebook.
I shake my head.
No.

"Just let the notes come to you,"
"As the words follow."
So...
I do.

Strumming.
Singing.
Smiling.
Giggling.

The notes came, and the words did follow.
We harmonize with each other.
Him and I.
Together.

As one.

let your heart sing for you || i wish i could sing really, really well...

thanks for reading. <3

xx Nicole Rose

new beginnings, old friends. [part one] // my 100th post!

I pick up my tray of food, glancing around. I'm new and old. I've been but that's gone. I adjust my notebook under my arm, feeling the light weight of the pen that rests behind me ear. It gets heavier by the second, being weighted down with new feelings and thoughts, phrases and words. I scan the room, breathless, thinking about the words my pen could posses when someone taps my shoulder, and my head whips to the side. He gives me a small, crooked grin. I remember you, I think.

"Want to sit with me?"

Before the word 'no' can roll off my tongue he counters, "It doesn't look like there's any other place to sit, anyway."

I look around. All chairs filled, no empty space. I'll have to write that down when he isn't looking. I sigh inwardly, giving in to him. "Sure, I'll sit with you."

He leads me to the table in the corner, where the small table for two snugly fits. His pulls his stuff off of it, setting his tray down then plopping sharply into his seat. He was always good with the sharp angles. Such vivid movement. I've been trying to recreate the same with my words. He lifts his gaze to meet my eyes, and I quickly take my seat beside him, blushing as I try to keep my focus on my food. I was caught staring.

"...so what brings you back?" He asks quietly, after the silence between has gotten too long.

I shrug, using my fork to play with my food. "I decided I missed it here. But it seems as if I wasn't missed at all."

He shakes his head, setting down his sandwich. "You were missed. Do you know how many sad faces I saw when you left?"

I shrug again.

"I can't even give you a number, that's how many I saw."

I sigh and shake my head.

"But the one I saw the most," he starts softly, "was the one I looked at in the mirror, everyday."

~ ~ ~

Well, as the title says it all. This is my 100th post! *whoops and cheers* I can't believe it. Over 100 posts. And you can say I've definitely improved since my first post. [no link, because we don't need to see the difference. you'll just have to take my word for it... :]

It's mind blowing, really. One hundred posts. Thirty-eight beautiful followers. Over five thousand pageviews. I've accomplished so much. :) And It's all thanks to you guys. I probably wouldn't be posting at all, if it weren't for your great support. You guys are amazing. Thank you so much for continuing to read my posts and visit my blog. I love you all so much. <3

thanks for reading, viewing, following, & commenting. <3
you guys always know how to make my day.

xoxo,

Rose

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p.s. should I continue the writing above?
or should I just leave it where it is? :P

The Open Road

The open road
that lies before me,
worn and weather-torn.
It stretches long and wide,
forever going,
never stopping,
until it
meets the sun
where it sets.
It must
take patience
to travel upon it,
to walk through
the rain,
and snow,
and sleet,
and wind.
It must be
much harder
to follow it,
when there are
straighter,
easier,
smoother, roads
--such as highways--
to take instead.
There is always
another path,
another road,
another way.
You just have to
find the right one.

where do these roads take you? || what's up with all these 'paths' and 'roads'?

thanks for reading. <3

xoxo,

Rose

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p.s. you guys are so sweet. <3
you leave the sweetest comments ever...

"No. Stop. Listen."

{ photo via pinterest }

"What is it?" She whispers into the moonlit darkness. She holds the tiny flower in her hand, studying its petals.

"It's the key."

"The key?"

He nods, his mysterious, dark brown eyes searching the girl. He studies her, listening to their breaths bounce off the close brick wall beside them. She looks up at him, and in the moonlight, her eyes glow. A bright lantern in the dark. "To what?"

"To us." His fingers drift through her hair, the same color as the moon above them. "And how this will all work out."

"...you're leaving me. Aren't you?"

"For now." He whispers. "Because they're coming."

Her eyes squeeze shut. "Don't leave me. Please, please, please don't leave me."

"I'm sorry...hey, open your eyes."

Her eyelids shoot open and she grabs his arm. "You can't do this. We'll talk to them. We'll tell them you aren't who they think you are."

"It won't work like that. They won't listen." He eases her hand off his arm, taking it in his own. "So you have to listen to me."

"You're leaving me, just like everyone else!"

"No. Stop. Listen. I'm not going to leave you forever."

"Yes you are--"

"I'll come back. I'll come back to you and we'll live together until eternity decides to end."

"But--" Noise come from down the alleyway. They've been spotted.

"I have to go." He looks down at the tiny flower held between her fingers. "Hold onto that. Never let it go."

And with that, he's gone.

they'll be together soon || why do they leave?

thanks for reading. <3

xoxo,

Rose

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Birthday Blues.

{ photo via pinterest }

"No." she states, huffing and crossing her arms. "I am not going outside. I am not being social. And I am not being happy. I'm. Staying. Here."

He sighs and rolls his eyes, trying his best to ignore her attitude. "Fine, suit yourself." He picks her up by the waist and drapes her over his shoulder, ignoring her screams of protest.

"Put me down! Right now!"

"No. Because you are going outside. You are going to be happy and social. Because I am not wasting my money just because you have the birthday blues."

She scowls, puffing up her cheeks and slowly blowing the air out. He stumbles through the front door, carrying her down the little path that leads toward the driveway. But he doesn't turn toward the car. Instead, he turns down the small alleyway between the two, older-style houses.

"Hey, where are we going?"

"We're going somewhere special."

He finally gets to the end of the ally, where it meets the old, weather beaten road. He sets the girl down and places his hands over her eyes. "Ready for your surprise?"

be happy || be social

thanks for reading this random post. <3

xx Nicole Rose

Pain.

{ photo via pinterest }

It can be physical.
Or mental.
It can be on the outside.
Or the inside.

It brings tears to my eyes.
It delivers panic to my body.
It draws screams to my throat.
And it transports wishes to my head.

"I wish it would go."
"I wish it would leave."
"I wish it wasn't there."
"I wish there was something I could do about this."

It hurts.
It burns.
It stings.
It aches.

And there is nothing I can do about it.

why does the pain stay? || who--what brought this on?

thanks for reading. <3

xoxo,

Rose

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p.s. sunburn hurts. XP

Just Dance 4

{ photo via pinterest }

^^^ the game that has taken over my life.

So it all started when my friend came over, bearing the gift of a wii game. Little did I know that this game would take over my life just like words, books, and dance have.

"Rose, aren't you being just a little bit dramatic here?" <-- this is is what I imagine the voice of the reader/s would say...

Psh, no. I'm not being dramatic at all. It's true. I'll show you.

"How?"

Shhhh...just let me speak.

Okay, so, I only had the game for less than three days { we got one from a Red Box when my friend took hers home -_- }, and this is what happened:

--My "dance card"/avatar thing says I've danced for over five hours.

--My star average is 4.1

--I *cough* practically *cough* memorized ALL the dance moves to over FIVE dances.

--My right arm was sore from playing so much.

--My siblings stopped playing with me because I annihilated them { haha, suckers! }.

--When I woke up after day one of playing the game, I had three different songs stuck in my head...at once.

So you see...I am obsessed. Just Dance 4, you have taken over my life.

And I don't regret a thing.

thanks for reading. <3

xoxo,

Rose

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p.s. it's summer now guys, so take this advice...
wear lots of sunscreen to the pool. -_-

Love.

You see it in the eyes of a mother,
As she watches her toddler waddle around the room.

You see it in the tossed gestures of the old man,
Who comes to the park everyday to feed the birds, just as his wife used to.

You see it in the smile of the boy,
Who lets the girl ride piggy back on him.

You see it in the giggles of the girl,
When he threatens to drop her.

Don't refrain, show it.
If you have it, share it.

The world needs [more] love.
It doesn't have to be romantic.

It just has to show you care.

do you care? || show it, if you mean it.

thank you for reading. <3

xoxo,

Rose

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another path.

Another path,
Another road.
A place to go,
Or leave, with bags in tow.

What will I find,
On my long quest?
People? Friends?
Love? A test?

My feet drag,
My shoulders hunch,
My head pounds,
My bones crunch.

It's been too long,
But I cannot rest.
I am so close.
I've made progress.

My seems as if,
It will never end.
I wish it would--I wish it wouldn't.
I should stop so I may amend.

I stop.
I breathe.
I fall.
I fail.

choose your paths wisely || don't give up, you're so close

thanks for reading this interesting post. <3

xx Nicole Rose

Click. Clack. Ding.

Click, clack, click.

My fingers fly.

My mind races.

Words play back as images.

Click, clack, ding.

More words added.

More images formed.

Small smiles become visible.

Click, clack, click.

"He said this..."

"She did that..."

Drama enters the story.

Click, clack, ding.

The climax has risen.

The ending has been decided.

I wonder what they will think.

Print, seal, tape.

My fingers are crossed.

The deed has been done.

My fate as an author rests in their hands.

~ ~ ~

So recently, I've been typing up a storm on my little laptop. Now that school and dance are over, I finally have time to sit down, relax, and write--reading squeezes in there too. I have been working this story I hope to get published for six months. The "anniversary" is today. :)

I am so happy--and proud--to be able to say I have over 80,000 words typed out for this book. I am so excited to have my first draft almost done, but I can't believe I've only been working on this for six months. Six months. Where has all the time gone?

Though I am not a published author--yet--I do have an amazing editor { and bestest friend }. I just want to take the time to say thank you to her. She has helped me through so much over the last three months. When I introduced her to the rough first chapter she gave me the sweetest reply ever and it encouraged me to take my writing even farther { not only for her, but for me too }. So, with all that said, thank you Kenz. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and helpful tips. You've really helped me get through the harsh times--whether it was just writer's block or real life problems.

Thank you.

I love you.

"How long will you love me?"

"Forever. And if that ends I'll love you even after forever."

thanks for reading. <3

xoxo,

Rose

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Pics in the Park

As most of you know, the dance year has ended. Usually, during the summer, everyone does summer intensive--those are grueling summer dance programs--but I'm not doing that this year. I'm going to stay home, lose all my flexibility, and gain weight off all the cookies I've been eating lately...

Anyway... On Tuesday I got together with some dance friends and had a sleepover. There were nine of us there. I had a blast. It was probably one of the best sleepovers I've ever been to.

So the first thing we did was watch our dance recital. There were groans, and complaints, and critiques floating around the room, but it was all pretty relaxed. Then we changed into our dresses and ate pizza. { yes, that was poor planning on our part... }

After slipping on street shoes, we walked to the nearby park. There was this beautiful gazebo type thing where we all sat and slipped on our pointe shoes. Finally, it was picture time.

Here are a few beautiful photos I'd like to share with you guys. :)

Here are the troops. <3

{ except for Jamila, who took this photo }

I'm the one in the red, flower print dress. ;)

I think my friend Annie is hiding behind me...

There I am, trying to do something cool with my leg. :P

This is my gorgeous friend, Kelly. Photo cred to moi. ;)

Here I am again. Why do my legs look so long? O_o

And that awkward, bunched up dress situation...ugh.

Don't worry, I was wearing shorts...

Thank you Katie, for catching this awkward moment.

She was taking too long to take the picture. -_-

Okay, this is better...

I love this one. <3

But my face looks...mrrrrrrr.

Love this. <3

This is my foot, and my friend Jackie's foot. :)

This is everyone's legs, ~~centered~~ off-centered, around the dandelion.

Okay, now this...this is my favorite. <3

This is moi, doing a decent backbend.

thanks for reading. <3

xx Nicole Rose

"Has it arrived yet?"

|| this post was inspired by this picture. ||

{ picture source }

"Has it arrived yet?" She asks, wrapping the shawl tighter around her shoulders. Hope is written all over her face and she bites her lip, wishing for one words. Just one.

"No," The old lady at the desk replies. It hurts her every time to say that. "But this came in." She hands the letter to the younger girl, sighing as she watches the hope drain from her eyes.

"Thank you." She whispers. Then the girl turns and leaves.

This happens again, and again. Every morning the girl comes, asking if it has arrived. And every morning, the old women replies with a no, and another bill to add to the girl's troubles.

But one morning, when the girl walks into the post office, the old woman is not there. A younger girl sits in the old ladies spot, shifting through a stack of letters. Hellos are exchanged, and the girl asks what happened to the old lady.

"She died." The young girl replies sadly. "But she wanted you to have these." The young girl hands the stack of letters to the woman who has waited years for this moment. "She says she's sorry they didn't get to you sooner. There was a mix-up."

The woman nods, sniffling as she reaches for the newest letter, ripping it open and reading what it says.

"He's...he's alive." She whispers. "Alive, and coming home."

he's back || i don't believe it

thank you for reading this interesting post. <3

xoxo,

Rose

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Relaxation

I grasp the teacup in my hand,

Glancing toward my words,

And the pictures that move behind them.

I nibble one of the cookies I stole,
Revising, rewriting, and relaxing.
Oh, how I've missed this.

relaxation & words || what more could i need?

thank you for reading this short post. <3

xx Nicole Rose

Pages

Pages

Magic

Moments

New beginnings, old friends. [part 2]

Breathe.

"Just let the notes come to you, as the words follow."

new beginnings, old friends. [part one] // my 100th post!

The Open Road

"No. Stop. Listen."

Birthday Blues.

Pain.

Just Dance 4

Love.

another path.

Click. Clack. Ding.

Pics in the Park

"Has it arrived yet?"

Relaxation

Click to contribute

Pages

Pages

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